Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize