I am puke
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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