Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
