so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
