You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We are two peas in an std pod
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
