Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
