Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
