You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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