Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
