remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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