My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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