I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
