Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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