I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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