You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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