I'm lost and stupid without you.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
