You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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