I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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