Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
