so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize