I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mouth tastes like poor choices
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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