i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
