life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
