im drinking this country out of the recession.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
