I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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