Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I checked into jail on foursquare
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
