I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
