weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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