Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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