talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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