She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I love you.
Bad choice
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
