Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
