3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
