It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize