I'm lost and stupid without you.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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