U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
