Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
