You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
