But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
