so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please, let me fuck your mom
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
