so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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