do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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