I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
