what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
