you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
