once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize