Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
