i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
