Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
