i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
