you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Found the puke drawer
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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