I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
