He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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