I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
