Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
