I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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