I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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