don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
