I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
