Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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