id be glad to
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
