Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize